Man Says Girlfriend is Upset After He Refuses Reward He Did not Need

A person is frightened that he was “ungrateful” after turning down a present from his girlfriend — however he had already informed her that he did not need it

On Reddit’s “Am I the A——?” discussion board, a 20-year-old man requested if he was within the flawed after upsetting his girlfriend.

He defined that they have been relationship for a yr and a half and that she “loves giving presents,” which he often is grateful for. Her presents vary from one thing as small as a protein drink after the fitness center to garments.

The OP (unique poster) added that generally he’ll inform his associate that he does not desire a current if she asks. Nevertheless, his girlfriend was offended after he turned down some snacks that she purchased after he particularly mentioned he did not want them.

He defined that he wasn’t very hungry since he’d been a bit of sick. Additionally, he had already gotten prepared for mattress by brushing his enamel and making use of skincare and did not need to repeat routine.

Regardless of him saying he did not need something, his girlfriend nonetheless purchased him fruit and a few scallion pancakes.

“I thanked her however requested her why she would purchase this after I particularly informed her to not, and he or she informed me to only brush my enamel once more or use mouthwash and so forth,” he mentioned. “After that she obtained upset with me and I half-heartedly apologized as a result of possibly my tone sounded ungrateful(?).”

The OP added some further context, explaining that he wasn’t in a position to preserve the meals till he was hungry as a result of they did not have a fridge. Additionally, there have been considerations about cockroaches if he left every part out in a single day.

Her response left him questioning if he was within the flawed.

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Many commenters agreed that he was NTA [not the a——], saying that he was “unequivocal & clear” about not wanting the meals.

“It isn’t okay for her to go towards that & then get upset when she tried to drive one thing on you that you simply already mentioned no to,” one commenter wrote.

One other commented, “No means no.”

“She did what you requested her NOT to do. Do not apologize for ‘showing ungrateful.’ And do not ‘thank her for considering of you’ when she clearly was NOT considering of you,” they wrote.

The commenter continued, writing, “In future, if she asks and also you say no, however you believe you studied she could not consider you, then you definately say “Significantly, I don’t need that.” And if she says you sound ungrateful, you say ‘that’s as a result of I’m NOT grateful. Why ought to I be thankful for one thing I TOLD you I didn’t need?’ ”

Though folks appeared to agree along with his resolution, one commenter identified that some cultures have completely different approaches to present giving.

“No judgment right here however it’s price having some conversations in regards to the motivations right here,” they wrote.